Good lord I hate to post this,I have giving up hope 100 percent in geting help for us for Christmas,I have contacted 24 agencies,including the agency for the blind,united way,and VOA. Im asking that please to not send me any more get in touch withs,because Ive been shoot down enough,and am too ill to deal one more day with phone work and nasty mean people. Not here,all of you are sweet amd gracious.
My birthday is also coming up on the 3rd of December,I bring this up as I am thankful I am here 1 more yr to spend with my kids and grandkids,they are my life and what keeps me going from the second I wake up in the morning. I need help for Christmas for these kids,being honest here,upfront,a couple pieces in clothing for each one to open,and maybe a really neat somethnig for them to grin ear to ear as they open up the gift. The kids ages are,Shalee will be 14 in Jan,Katy is 12,and little Chris-boy-is 9. I need to say Im on here because my daughter just cat do this alone,the kids dad commited suicide before Katrina hit,after that,the kids dady,his dad had us staying there at his house,because Katrina ate ours,while we were there,he commited suicide,then we found our Shalee has Chiaris Malfomation,shalee had to have brain and spine surgery as her brain was sinking into her spine,this was done at Phoxnix Childrens hospital. Then in the last yr,I got sick and have found out I have a psudo celebri tumor in the back of my head,no cure,and in the end leads to blindness,only medicine that can treat this is what they put me on in the hospital the week I was in there,I came home and 3 days later the skin was coming off in long peeling strips off my back,leaving raw flesh,I had an adverse reaction.So now I cant even take the med that treats it,only the 1 other med that kills the pain of the tumor thingy,the med is 700.oo,which ins. payed all but 300.Then just on Monday we found out Miss little Katy has Turners Syndr. Which she will never grow to be over 4 ft 7 of she is lucky,she is now 4 ft 3 and 50 pounds at 12.Many many medical problems come with this. Were all just tired and weary,just sooooo weary.I hold tight in knowing that god does not give us more than we can handle,but in truth,Im hanging on to that belief with a tiny micro thin string.
My eyes are bad,Im on 6 meds a day just for the tumor thingy,I know my needs are always in the back,which should be,because my kids and grandkids come at all times 1st,but my microwave went out,it was from goodwill,when it went out my hubby fixed it,it worked for 2 weeks,then boom,it fried. This is so important to me because the 6 meds I take each make me drowsey,I use the microwave many times a day,when something is done the beeper goes off,wakes me up,if not the 1st set of beeping but the 2nd set,4 different occasions I have woke up after meds to smoke in my house from things on the burner that have scalded,or baked to long,because I have feel asleep while waiting. It makes me sad because I would never put my family at risk for nothing,Im a good cook when I have food in which I do not have anything but 3 cans right now in my cupboard. If I go to pick up my meds,I have to turn around because Im terrified I left the oven on or the burner, on sometimes Ive turned around twice and went back home,stupid I know,Im just that parnoid. This isnt really something for me,but to help keep us all safe because of my stupid illnees.I feel like a burdon.Worthless.
My hubby does the best he can do,he makes enough to pay the rent,and some of the electric bills,and the other part of my meds,and thats it. All he is asking is for a perkulator for his coffee in the morning,poor guy,having me as a wife I cant even do that,he choose poorly didnt he? So maybe a perkulator,one that sets on the stove and perks,or a pretty black one that has a nice timer on it that sets on the counter.?The kids will be out of school,I would give anything to have lots of goodies for them to eat,bless them,they have suffered too much in their short lives. I see their beautiful faces and try to memorize them in my mind,for when I lose my eye sight forever. What a horrible letter this is,Im so sorry. Can you tell Im depressed,I shouldnt even be on here. Again Im sorry.
One more thing. The good lord did send me a gift,my pekingese died 3 months ago after 16 yrs,and when I was sick he would lay by my side every second,when he passed,I was shattered,he was my only true friend. Well god had a plan.I got a phone call,a little pug was being abused in LA,he was being used and tortured as bait to 2 pitbulls,hanging him upside down above their heads by his hind legs,just above the pits head.high enough they couldnt eat him,but enought to terrorize him. Well god led him to my home for love,he is now asleep on my floor,he weighs 9 pounds,should be 17,he didnt know what a treat was,or a toy,but yesterday he picked up a soft baby rattle and shook it and barked at it,and ran over and kissed me,and took a tiny tiny piece of treat.If its all I have I will love this poor tiny tiny lil man,he is 2 yrs old with all I have. Im asking for a warm doggy bed to call his own,he cant sleep with me,if he jumps off the bed he could break his bones,he is this thin,and the size of the tacobell dog. 1 quater of the size he should be.
Now see,you all of you think Im being piggish,Im an crazy old coot,I may get hate mail,lol.
Please forgive me,just reaching out there for a lovong heart and a soft hug,and some help.and a huge amount of prayers lifted up.
Angel
